Let me confess something for most of my life. I based my worth on my relationships. Like, am I a good enough daughter? Am I a good enough wife? How am I as a friend? As a lover, as a student? My worth was based on my relationships, and I don’t think it’s just because I was a codependent, patterned kid growing up with an alcoholic dad.

I think it’s honestly really common for us, especially in the female bodies, to value ourselves based on how we affect others, how we please others, how we serve others. Can I tell you? When I was basing my worth on relationships, I was constantly feeling worthless.

When I was basing my worth on my marriage and then my marriage fell apart. I felt worthless when I was basing my worth on my parenting. And then my kids left the nest. It was tempting to feel worthless. This is like torture for us women who have this pattern, and I think most of us do. This relational worth pattern.

And it affected me in business too, because from that pattern, my business was always about pleasing you. My audience, my clients. Making them happy, making them impressed, making them like me. And so even doing a simple video like this was like, so terrifying. Because I had to be perfect. Like, I had to, you know, have my makeup on, right?

And I had to have the highest production value, and I had to say the right things in the right order and sound professional, and that’s who.

As I’ve been walking through the Meadow Passage menopause, I’ve learned that estrogen is a hormone that supports this feeling that we have to be connected, that that our service is what makes us important. That estrogen, this caretaking drug that surges through our bodies on and off in cycles for most of our lives. When that estrogen drops, yeah.

Can cause some uncomfortable symptomology, especially when our adrenals are already shot from working. So hard to prove ourselves worthy by serving everyone. But there’s a benefit to the dropping estrogen levels of menopause. They have landed us in this phase as a wise one, a wise woman where we no longer could give F’s about what everybody thinks we no longer base our value on our service to everyone around us.

We no longer base our self-worth on relationships only. What a flippin relief. What a relief, and what an expansion! Also for our paths, for our businesses, for our purposes. Now, on the other side of the Wise Woman passage, my worth is in the legacy I leave. It’s in the purpose. It’s in the path that I walk. What a relief to land in the truth that it is my contribution, my wider body of wisdom, my own embodied path.

That is why I am so damn valuable. And every single one of us is walking our own unique paths, and every single one of us is valuable and worthy. And it doesn’t matter how many people you’re serving and what they think of you and what the validation is coming from out there. Hmhm. Wise woman. Congratulations on reaching the point where you know that it’s not about scrabbling around and serving other people.

It’s not just about pleasing everyone and looking pretty for everyone, and looking perfect and acting perfect and seeming perfect for everyone. It’s no longer about meeting those standards that are so ridiculous. The culture sets around what women are supposed to be, how we’re supposed to act, how we’re supposed to be for other people, and how we’re not supposed to be for other people.

These impossible, contradictory rules have expired, like bad milk in the back of the refrigerator. And now, wise woman, it’s time to discover and rediscover your past. I’ve got good news for you. There are paths that are branched out ahead of you now as a wise, mature woman that you couldn’t do before. These paths are only available to you now as you walk across this transom of the Wise Woman passage.

I’ve created a new offering. You can check it out. Wise Woman Pathfinder experience. It’s designed with a series of quizzes to help you discover this path for yourself. Because now that you’ve woken up to the fact that your worth and your value are not just about your relationships, there’s a new discovery afoot. There’s a new puberty ahead. There’s a new path that awaits.