The other day. I was up to my ankles and knees in caca. I don’t mean that figuratively. I mean that literally because it was the day that we mucked out the goat barn and the chicken coop. As I was shoveling this in, sickeningly smelling disgusting sticky. Oh, odorous, tough, difficult stuff. I had this big smile on my face.

Why? Because so much of what we are surrounded with now is this pressure to make a perfect life that is easy, effortless, relaxing, not scary. Not confrontational. We are engaging in echo chambers of our own creation when we engage in social media. We hear all of our own very strong polarized positions reflected back to us, and we can relax knowing that we’re part of a tribe, that we’re part of, of the right side, that we have the answers and those poor other fools don’t.

And it’s more bullshit than what I was standing in last weekend as I was mucking out the barn, as I was mucking out the barn, piercing these flakes of ancient bedding, straw soaked with animal urine and worse. I realized that it is a lovely stretch to be uncomfortable, and it is a deep privilege to be able to choose how to make myself uncomfortable.

For those of us who are privileged and well-off and at choice about our food and where we live and where we stay and where we travel, it’s critically important that we choose to get uncomfortable. It’s critically important, and we know this because of the studies that have been done, of course, but even more so, I think we know this because of our own experience.

I was just talking to my son Colin. He’s he’s been spending a lot of time with me recently, which I love. Colin is 26 years old. He is got a brilliant mind. And like many of us with brilliant minds, he he can overthink stuff. I can relate with that. And he was acknowledging that he has put his mind to work in creating a very comfortable life for himself, a life where he didn’t have to exert himself or he didn’t have to do really uncomfortable things.

He’s paid well. He’s got a brilliant mind. He can strategize the way he spends his time. And it got him to the place where he, too was questioning. Have I made life too comfortable? Have I relaxed too much into these easy answers and these easy tools? Social media, video games? the news fed to us in soundbites that reflect only what we already believe.

And I had so much respect for this guy and he was saying, oh, I can’t believe it took me this long to figure this out. And I said, Colin, you’re 26. I’m more than twice your age. And some of these lessons I didn’t really understand until menopause kicked my ass. And I realized that while menopause is a harsh task, mistress, she’s also a very deep teacher who forced me to get uncomfortable, who forced me to burn in that discomfort and to expand my resilience, my ability to operate, even if I’m feeling a little off.

She taught me how to stand in discomfort and even create more discomfort. More workouts, for example, more pushing with heavier weights, more saying no to the glass of wine even when I want it. And this has built so much character and stamina and resilience in myself that I thought it important to share here, because people come to me all the time clients, friends, people come to me asking me about.

How to get real mastery. How to step into a form of embodied leadership that’s more than just what we think we’re supposed to do. What we were taught to do, even what other people ask us to do.

And I have to say that one of the best things I can advise if you are stepping into your work, your deep work. One of the best things I can suggest as you’re stepping into your deepest work. Is to let it be work. To take yourself through the initiations you purport to give to others. To give yourself the tasks, the warriors tasks that you might assign a client to walk.

This talk of personal development so strongly that you’re uncomfortable because mastery mastery does not come from dressing up really pretty. Taking amazing photos of yourself and saying the right words in the captions of your gorgeous Instagram posts. As much as I love doing exactly that. That’s not where my mastery comes. Mastery comes from walking the talk that you’re teaching, that you’re coaching.

And I got to tell you, every time I get a client who is struggling with something that I haven’t yet really struggled with, my guides step right up and say, we’re going to need to clear you on this one, too. Melissa, are you ready? And I get excited even though I know that might cause some disruption in my life.

That might mean I need to rest more. It probably has some Warriors tasks involved, things that I will have to jump over in order to earn and embody this healing. I’ve learned to get excited.

As you become a wise one in your sage years, you open to this truth. You ground your feet on the path more than ever. You release the idea that life is comfortable. It’s not. Not if you’re growing, not if you’re stepping into your mastery. So feel invited in my community. In your community. What’s valuable is you showing up, doing the work you’re given to do, serving the people you’re here to serve.

And once in a while, getting knee deep in the muck of your own barn, literal or figurative, and shoveling that shit. Thanks for being here.