You may find yourself one day asking.. When is it OK to letting go of an old friend?
“The problem is, now when I hang out with my old friends I just feel like I’m being slimed!“ This is what one of my VIP clients was saying to me the other day. Of course, this was right after she told me that she is finally attracting the right kind of people into her life. Clients and business clients who play at her depth. Love-interests who treat her like a queen. This is a typical result of personal development with the Life Initiations. When intuitive awakening is stewarded and accelerated, these upgrades often shift your social structures too.
When you learn to stop leaking energy, to stop engaging in codependent exchanges, and when you learn how to hold your own power with integrity, you magnetize people who know how to do the same. You become attractive to people who hold their power well. And your existing relationships are challenged to meet you at your new level of sovereignty and authenticity.
You can feel the upgrade in yourself, with more awareness, more confidence, and better boundaries. But your old friends who are used to “the old you” may feel you are abandoning them, betraying them somehow.
True. You don’t want to listen to them complain endlessly anymore. You aren’t willing to be compromised. You know what you need to feel safe, respected, and loved. And you won’t settle for anything less anymore. Therefore, many of your old friends may seem suddenly irritating or even repulsive to you.
Oops! What to do?
Permission to be picky
First of all, remember that you really do get to choose with whom you spend time. If someone is a drain, stop pouring yourself into that drain. If someone leaves you feeling belittled, shameful, or small on a regular basis, be kind to yourself and avoid that relation.
Of course, there may be a few people in your life that you can’t just walk away from. Your children. Your parents. Those in your closest circle. But if you are honest with yourself, you realize that there are friends you have kept stringing along just because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. You don’t want the conflict. You don’t want the argument. You know they will revolt if you take your space.
Cut the cord. You have permission to be picky.
You’re responsible to your path, not to people.
What if you consider your soul’s path of service to be more important than your servile habit of pouring yourself into the folks who have always fed from you in the past?
If you are experiencing an intuitive awakening, you likely can feel the truth of this: you are being called to walk a unique path of service in the world. You bring gifts that only you can bring. You are uniquely qualified to do what you are about to do. And that’s the righteous focus of your life.
Yet you are often tired, drained, worn out from cheering up and filling up some friends who you dread seeing. Well, when you are worn out from serving these people, you are not resourced and able to do what your soul really came here to do.
So what if you recognized that you are responsible to walk your path, more than obligated to cheer and fill up the needy emotionally draining folk who demand your attention?
What if you have a massive invisible team that is cheering you on – encouraging you to walk your unique path of service in the world? What if they are all encouraging you to focus your energies on what you really came to do?
How can you tell if you should start letting go of an old friend?
When you are not sure if someone is a person you should be tending to, ask yourself…
Is this person instrumental to my path?
Or are they incidental to my path?
In other words, is serving this person part of my soul’s path? Is this really mine to do now?
Or is this person just another person… who happens to be in my orbit, tugging on my attention and energy?
When you get honest about this, you might find that you’ve become accustomed to giving your attention and energy to the squeaky wheel people who don’t really play an important part in your service to the world, in your life. Maybe you’ve just gotten used to gifting them your precious energy. Maybe they can’t even really receive it.
Let’s be clear that there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with people who happened to be incidental to your path. They just aren’t directly relevant to your core purpose. And if you want to, of course, you can still give them your attention and energy, and friendship. But let this be a conscious choice. “I know this person isn’t really part of my path, my fulfillment, my deeper purpose… But I dig them and I am going to spend my time here.”
It can be painful to go through phases of personal development where you literally outgrow your old friends. You love these folks. You’ve invested time and energy there. And then you realize that you’re done.
You may have some grieving to do as you let go of friends you know are not in your highest good anymore. Go ahead and grieve. And have faith that you are loved and lovable, attractive and magnetic to the energies that you now embody.
Intuitive awakening requires a series of leaps of faith. You can trust your own gut, your intuition, and your heart to consciously choose the folks you put energy towards. Because when you have the right folks around you, people who support you in bringing your deepest service to the world, you will feel empowered, revitalized, and inspired – even when these folks challenge you, stretch you, and reflect you. Surround yourself with people who can meet you. This will help you do what your soul came here to do.ti
Mellissa was a Stanford-educated business lawyer until her intuitive abilities awakened in the year 2000 with the birth of her daughter. Now she bridges the worlds of business strategy and intuitive intelligence. Creative designers, Fortune 500 executives, and thought leaders hire her to teach them how to Channel their Genius – to create on demand, to stay in their flow state, and to create lucrative businesses that follow their souls’ calling.