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3 BIG Lies Wise Women Tell Ourselves to Stay SMALL


Ah Wise Woman.  You can feel the pull to make a change.  You know that the second half of your life is meant to be your BEST, your BIGGEST.  But your over-educated brain is LYING to you, keeping you from taking the leap your heart is calling forth. 

Let me tell you the 3 big lies you’re telling yourself that keep you from your deepest fulfillment and success. Then I’ll tell you the truth so you can re-align with what you know is true, and have the success you’ve been waiting for!

Lie #1

I’ve been doing fine as a professional, as I’ve always been.  So if I change course, and embrace some bigger role now, I’ll be wasting all that time and money I’ve put into my education and career to this point! I’ll be revealed as a failure – how embarrassing!

Mellissa sitting with a laptop.

Truth #1

All those schools, the life lessons, and the career paths you’ve had (and there have been quite a few, right?) were ALL research for what you are about to do next.

Take a deep breath into that. It was all RESEARCH. And you completed it! Yay!

It’s easy to get stuck in a research project. It’s easy to identify with one project instead of finishing it when you know it’s over. Whether that research project is a job you’re bored with, your first book that you’re teaching from by rote and not passion, a relationship past-due, a passion that’s become an addiction, or your daily routine, you KNOW when it’s over. But you don’t always end it.

Yet when you have moved on from a project that was past-due, didn’t it feel GREAT??!!!

Consider that your identity up and to this point has been a project. If it feels past-due, why not move on?

Afraid it means you’re a failure? Well, you tend to admire people who have the courage to change. So why not do it now, for yourself. In research terms, a “failure” is just results, and all results have value in the wider search for wisdom. Maybe a little humbling will make you a better person, – more accessible, kind, and compassionate. Why not embrace it?

Lie #2

I’ll lose the competition if I play a bigger role. I’ve been doing the mom thing, or the career thing, or both, and I don’t have all the certificates and degrees and resume stuff I’m supposed to have to PROVE that I’m Wise!  I’m not experienced enough, good enough, special enough to be this wise one who bridges the worlds. And I have to be a perfect SuperStar in order to shine, at least that’s what I’ve always been taught.

Truth #2

No one wants a Perfect-Person Superstar as their wise mentor/leader/healer.

Let’s be honest. Is it any fun learning from a Superstar – someone who is always perfect, excelling, and never failing?

Ew. A Superstar teacher. That sounds to me like they are

  1. misrepresenting themselves (cause no one’s perfect),
  2. probably arrogant and compassionless,
  3. and they are unable to teach me, an imperfect human, how to climb out of the hole I’m in – cause they’ve never been there.

NO. People want a helper/teacher/expert who has done the RESEARCH (see #1 above). Your people are waiting for YOU, Wise Ma.

We don’t want a perfect person.

We want someone who is even still struggling a bit, showing that the struggle is worth it. We want someone who is just a bit farther ahead, so that the path is fresh in their minds. We want a collaborator who tosses out ideas, recognizes the signs, and authentically shares the victories with great joy.

Dude, that’s YOU. You are that collaborative leader.

Your screw-ups are your resume.

Your dedicated efforts are your qualifications.

Your awareness of your failures is what makes you a conscious leader.

Lie #3

I don’t know what my REAL gift is.  

Truth #3

Yuh-huh yes you do. Or you can. If you listen for it like this…

Here are some reminders:

  • When you get quiet, you can FEEL your true gift moving in you.
  • Your friends tell you all the time what you’re so good at.
  • Your failures point to your biggest research, and your greatest wisdom.
  • You are here to help/teach/support people who were like you were, and who are going where you are.
  • You had a diverse background of experiences, and where they cross over, that’s your Gift.
  • The parts of your current life or work that make you feel like scratching your own eyes out – that’s NOT your gift, and you will never be happy doing that part.

The Truth is, Sister, that you DO KNOW (or at least you have a feeling/inkling) when you get quiet and centered.

So then why isn’t it obvious to you in black and white words?

Maybe it’s been a LONG time since you allowed yourself to get quiet and centered.

And it may be that you’ve been beaten down, or conditioned, or self-sabotaged for so long, that you are now really blocked from seeing it. But you can dig yourself out of that hole.

And if you want me to help you do that, it just happens to be MY deepest Gift to do so.

It’s my biggest gift and ability to see into you, and tell you your biggest gifts, and how to use them to create the money and lifestyle you’ve been dreaming about.

Because I will take you one step further. I will show you your soul’s gift, your life’s research and what it’s leading you to, and then I will show you how you can make your Gift your Career, while creating the lifestyle YOU want.

If you’d like some help kicking butt on these 3 Lies,

And if you’d like me to help you reveal your path that fits you in your bigness,

And if you’re curious about having me step you forward into your true purpose….

Click here to take my “Work With Mellissa” Quiz to see what the perfect way of working together might be for us!  Or simply reach out to me.  I’m here for you.

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About Mellissa

Mellissa was a Stanford-educated business lawyer until her intuitive abilities awakened in the year 2000 with the birth of her daughter.  Now she bridges the worlds of business strategy and intuitive intelligence. Creative designers, Fortune 500 executives, and thought leaders hire her to teach them how to Channel their Genius – to create on demand, to stay in their flow state, and to create lucrative businesses that follow their souls’ calling.

Curious about working with Mellissa?

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