fbpx Skip to main content

Initiations Beyond Death: What happens after we die?


Day of the dead. All saints day. It is the time of the thinning of the veil, and the celebrations of the ancestors.

Many wisdom cultures around the northern hemisphere of our world honor this time of year as we descend into the darker winter months. It is a time when the leaves are dying and falling from the trees, when the cold descends, and when the sun is falling low in the sky.

And in this season, just after the modern celebration of Halloween, we may find ourselves asking an age old question… 

What happens after death?


I see dead people. 

And I’m not alone.

The gift to perceive those who have left their earthly bodies is something that many of us have to various degrees. Who hasn’t seen a ghost, felt a visiting dearly departed one nearby, or witnessed a spirit they couldn’t explain? 

Well, since my intuitive awakening more than 20 years ago, I’ve had occasion to communicate with spirits of various kinds, including earthbound spirits a.k.a. ghosts, and those who have passed over into the next realm to become something more like angels or guides or ancestor guardians.

And let me tell you, there’s a big difference.

*** Disclaimer: I’m about to tell you my own ideas about “ghosts” and death.  Dude, these things are mysteries.  I know that.  I suspect I only have part of the story, if that.  But honestly, after 20+ years I can tell you that these ideas seem to hold water. I’ve helped a lot of folks with spirits, translated for a lot of dearly departed, and otherwise had deep acknowledging evidence that these stories are something close to “true.” So take what resonates, and leave the rest.  Until we die, we won’t know the capital “T” truth about death and spirits!  Now.  Onward… ***

I’ve come to nickname earthbound spirits “ghosties” because they don’t really need to be glamorized or glorified IMHO. They are more like your lost drunk roomate that missed the bus to the other side. Don’t expect them to make sense, or good decisions. And I think the best thing we can do for them is to use our strong free choice as embodied humans to command them Home.  With our choice and command, we can send them across into the arms of the angels waiting to receive them, and transition them into the world of spirit where they are supposed to be.

Feel free to do just that, anytime you please. Because ghosties are disembodied spirits, and in order to take up space here, they tend to draw energy from people and places.  Seems to be they “feed” from your emotional shock or feelings, when you are scared, or from when we have weak energetic boundaries.  That’s why you’ll find a lot of ghosts in bars, around people with addictions, and around people who are emotionally upset. Too often, it seems, ghosties become unintentional parasites, drawing energy off of people and things in order to be here. And occasionally, they become intentional parasites, scaring folks to trigger the release of emotional energy they can feed on.  Those are the ones I’ve had to go in and clear from buildings and stuff in the past.  I don’t do that work much anymore, as there are others who can do it.  But there was a time when real estate agents would call me to make a house sell, for example, by kicking out the body-less holdover tenants.

Again, I could be wrong about all this. This is just 20 years of experience, talking, and I don’t have an advanced degree in paranormal studies. I just really recommend that you do not become codependent with a ghost that lives in your house or place of work.   Don’t imagine “it has just as much right to be here as we do.”  Nope. Give it the boot, do with the favor of kicking it into the next realm.

But then what happens?

What happens when we die?

What happens, assuming that we don’t miss the bus to the other side?

As far as I can tell (see disclaimer above), what happens is this: we enter a phase of clearing and cleaning. It’s like our spirit goes across the veil, and begins to take a long, hot shower  to scrub all that earth lifetime drama, and trauma off.

Likewise, after the initiation of “Death“ that you might experience during a lifetime (like when you come close to death yourself, or lose someone close to you) you might enter a cleansing time period afterwards.  You might have a reaction period where you are shedding your old beliefs, your old attachments, and really feeling like you get peeled down to the bone. This is one of the effects of grief. It melts off all the bullshit.

Well, I’ve been noting these passages and how they apply to the calendar months.  October related with the initiation of Death, the archetype of the Bridge across the veils.  And November relates with the archetype of “ShadowDancer,” the part of us that knows how to dance with our shadows, release the gunk, and CLEAR away the leftovers. 

November is a great time to do your own clearing and cleansing work. It’s time to let go of everything from the last cycle that you are done with, to release what is no longer in the highest good to hold. Just as the trees around you are becoming barren, so you can drop your own leaves, and experience the clarity and lightness of releasing that heavy load.

That’s what we are doing in my programs this month, the people in the low-cost Wisdom Collective, and also my mentees in the Business Academy mentorship.   We are clearing clearing clearing the blocks, raising the glass ceilings, and opening beyond our past limits.  It’s super fun to do this in community.  And I bring all my gifts for this to my peeps in my programs.

This is the phase of clearing after the loss/surrender of death. And this is just the first step that happens between the worlds. From here, we enter the visionary realms of the deep Winter, which offer an opportunity to dream and vision the next phase, to rest and gather forces, and to prepare for the easeful success in Spring.

Just as we tend to ignore the natural slow down and otherworldliness of the physical winter season, filling it with lights and holidays and noise, we have also been ignoring the initiations that happen in between lifetimes, in the other worlds. At least that is my perspective. 

I look forward to sharing more with you through this winter about these so far overlooked “Life” passages that happen when you are not alive. Because honestly, in the Winter, it is right to instead feel you are in the underworld, healing, rejuvenating, and manifesting with the magic in between spaces.

Browse more posts from Mellissa’s blog

About Mellissa

Mellissa was a Stanford-educated business lawyer until her intuitive abilities awakened in the year 2000 with the birth of her daughter.  Now she bridges the worlds of business strategy and intuitive intelligence. Creative designers, Fortune 500 executives, and thought leaders hire her to teach them how to Channel their Genius – to create on demand, to stay in their flow state, and to create lucrative businesses that follow their souls’ calling.

Curious about working with Mellissa?

Leave a Reply