fbpx Skip to main content

What NOT to Say to your Kids:
Three Innocent Sentences with Devastating Consequences

Video Transcript

There are three things that we should never say to a child, even though they sound innocuous and realistic and responsible.

When a kid is between the ages of six and nine, there’s a rite of passage that is natural to go through, and that is a shift from being in the full, imaginative, creative world into being in the world of reason. But the rite of passage is not to eradicate their imagination and their memory of past times, or their connection to the invisible world.

The rite of passage is meant to be an honoring of those things, a maturing of those things, and a welcoming of those things.

So the three things that we should not be saying are number one. Don’t be silly. Now, it’s likely that you’re still saying this to your inner child every day. Don’t be silly.

I remember when my kids were little. There were times where I got so frustrated with their silliness, they wouldn’t pay attention to the real problems and issues and tasks that I wanted them to pay attention to. They were being goofy and silly, and I would say, don’t be so silly. Like, stop being silly now. And I know there’s a time for that message, of course, but.

It becomes a problem when. Don’t be silly. Becomes an overriding rule that shuts down our playfulness, our goofiness, our fool archetype incites ourselves.

Don’t be so silly. Stop being silly. Stop it! These things stay in our minds. And in a culture where being goofy and silly is often relegated to. The judgment of being immature or. A comic relief from what’s real. These rules like don’t be silly, become mandates inside ourselves that shut us down. The truth is, we need more silly.

The truth is, we as adults are often walking around feeling so much obligation and heaviness. That what we need is to be silly. In a culture that glorifies intellectualism and clear discernment and judgment and. Capitalism. Being silly sounds like a waste of time. But in a framework of magic and creative aliveness, being silly is an absolutely essential and primary ingredient for life.

So I invite you to begin by rewriting this immediately. Do be silly. Please be silly. Start being silly. Okay.

The second thing that we should really stop saying to our children and to ourselves as adults is, that’s just your imagination. That’s just your imagination.

That’s a phrase that again, we battle for the rest of our lives. Because as children, our intuition, our knowing, our visionary aspect was condescended or quieted or minimized as just your imagination.

I was always a very imaginative child. In other words, I had imaginary friends. I played with an imaginary lion that lived in the bush in my backyard, and I remember at times my parents qualifying my experience by saying, yes, but that’s just your imagination.

And then I had my intuitive awakening in the year 2000 with the birth of my daughter, Clarise, and suddenly my imagination was really loud and my imagination was showing me things that were true to the world, to the quote unquote, “real world”.

My imagination became a messenger. My imagination became a a means through which I could affect healing on myself and others. My imagination became a conduit for direct communication with spirit, with my guides, with nature, with people who’d passed over and. And I remember early on when I met one of my teachers, Beatrex Quntanna. She’s a wonderful teacher,


And I said, I’m not sure, you know, how do people all tell what’s their imagination and what’s their psychic sight? And she said, honey, your imagination is your psychic sight. You just need to continue to learn how to unpack the symbols of what you are seeing. What my imagination is my psychic sight. That was a direct contradiction to my old patterning of, oh, that’s just my imagination.

So what if, instead of saying, that’s just your imagination as a way of minimizing or quieting or discrediting the things that come to us through intuition? What if. We say, what you imagine probably has some truth. What’s appearing in your vision may have some relevance. what you’re imagining is beautiful. And I invite you to start saying these things to yourself inside, with your own imagination, to credit instead of discredit what you imagine.

Many teachers have told me that we must imagine what we manifest, and then fuel it with our desire, and then act as if it is true in order to manifest. If that’s true, then we’re really stopping ourselves and stopping our manifestation. If we ignore what we imagine.

The third thing.

I’m having trouble putting it to simple words like I did the other two.

But I guess I would say.

That’s not a real memory. That’s not a real memory.

As kids, especially before the age of seven. We able to access and remember what I would call past lives. Even though I think time itself is a construct. But I found it helpful to describe this phenomena by thinking of it as past lives, and most mystery school traditions from all times and all humanity put it in that same framework that we have these past lives that we live more than once as souls.

And I’ve witnessed again and again how kids remember their past lives in flashes, often before they’re seven. And I believe that they we remember them in a sense, to effect some healing to some leftover trauma or, lesson that that it’s useful to allow that memory into the conscious mind and to process it like we would any other trauma or hurt.

But unfortunately, because this culture is oblivious or discrediting of this idea of past lives, we we tend to shut it down. When I was little, I had something called night terrors. These are dreams that are diagnosed as night terrors because they take the body to the extreme. The extreme limits of physical experience, of fear. So the adrenaline response and the hormonal response is extreme.

And I remember having these night terrors and in the, in the nightmare where my body would go to that extreme level of terror, even as a little kid, I was being crushed by something. There was one where I was being drowned. there were different memories of dying, and that’s what I was dreaming of. And I remember trying to explain that to my folks and them saying, it’s just a dream.

It’s just a dream. Which I guess maybe that’s something else that we could stop saying. It’s just a dream because, yeah, it is a dream and it’s good to know what’s happening in waking versus sleeping. But it’s also not just a dream. It’s a dream of power. And I’ve also witnessed my son Colin, when he was not even quite two years old, stop in the middle of playing ball with me.

And I saw him shift, and I saw him look around and as he looked around, I could see that he was not just seeing our living room where we’re playing ball. He was somewhere else. And I said, Collin, what do you see? And he said, green grass. And I had this flash of him as like a baseball player in a past life.

And I said, green grass. Are you holding the ball? He said, yes. I said, what’s your name? And he said, John, in which time I got all the creepy crawlies up my spine. And yes, I was tempted to stop and go, whoa, this is just this isn’t real. This is not real. This is. But I instead, I just allowed him to look around and I said, John.

And he said yes. And I could tell he was different. I said, what’s your job? And he said, throw the ball. I said, oh, your job is to throw the ball. Yeah, okay. And then he sort of like shook and was back to being Colin and continued playing catch with me in the living room.

This was again when he was so little. So little. But I could sense this was very real for him, and there was no way that I was going to tell him that that wasn’t real. There was no way I was going to tell him. That was just a dream, because I could feel there was something real. And he made a connection.

And later, when I had teachers for this sort of thing, I asked them about this and they said, yeah, that’s super common for kids. It’s super common for kids to have night terrors because they’re processing past deaths. It’s super common for kids to have memories of their past life. It’s super common for kids to say, hey, mommy, remember when I was your mommy?

And remember when daddy was our little boy? And remember when they remember their soul family pulling out different roles in past lifetimes? It’s not a dangerous thing to remember. It doesn’t mean that you can’t tell dream world from real world. So I encourage you. I invite you. To let these things be real and not to find them scary or dramatic, but rather to normalize these memories, these feelings, these impressions.

Let’s just normalize them. Because in the past 24 years of practicing in this realm, I can tell you that even the most grounded billionaires and the most logical tech creatives, and the most intellectual, overly educated thinkers. Have all experienced some measure of this phenomena. And we can stop pretending like we don’t know. This is how we heal the life passage that we’re focusing on this month in the Wisdom Collective.

This is how we heal it.

Browse more posts from Mellissa’s blog

About Mellissa

Mellissa was a Stanford-educated business lawyer until her intuitive abilities awakened in the year 2000 with the birth of her daughter.  Now she bridges the worlds of business strategy and intuitive intelligence. Creative designers, Fortune 500 executives, and thought leaders hire her to teach them how to Channel their Genius – to create on demand, to stay in their flow state, and to create lucrative businesses that follow their souls’ calling.

Curious about working with Mellissa?

Leave a Reply